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Get your love life back on track
Good Housekeeping reports in its Good Health Section in May 2007 how the following couples got their love-lives back on track.
No matter what life stage you're at, sex still matters. But illness, depression and low self-esteem can all affect your libido.
There might be a clear-cut reason for a decline in desire - you've just had a baby or gone through a divorce or serious illness that affects how you feel about your body and your sex life. But if the cause is less apparent, says sex and relationship expert Dr Sarah Brewer, you should see your GP to have your thyroid function tested and your level of prolactin hormone checked. If you're on medication, ifs also worth checking whether you may be suffering from side effects - the Pill, antidepressants and anti-hypertensives can all affect your libido.
Some women may feel talking about their sexual feelings with a partner is completely off the agenda. Paula Hall, a sex and relationship psychotherapist, says: 'If you're planning to discuss your feelings with your partner and are nervous, make sure you're not in a face-to-face setting such as a restaurant. Try bringing it up when you're going for a walk - that way you won't have to make eye contact. And avoid talking about the problem in bed - it will put pressure on both of you. Concentrating on "us", rather than "me" and "you" will also help.'
"I felt like a strong woman again"
Allie Crowley, 36, found that
toning up her pelvic muscles
enhanced her relationship. 'At 26, I had pre-cancerous cells and had to have nearly all of my cervix removed. Then, when I was 34, I had a bad episode of pelvic inflammatory disease - the doctors discovered that a piece of plastic had been left in after the surgery eight years earlier. I'd gone so long without having regular sex, I didn't feel feminine any more. My pelvic floor muscles were shot - I couldn't laugh without feeling as if I was going to leak.
Then I found the
Pelvic Toner,
which you use internally to strengthen your muscles. I started to feel the benefits after about a week, and realised how connected those muscles are - not only to your bladder but also to sexual sensation. While exercising I'd think, "this feels good," and start wondering when my partner was going to come home! I soon had enough stamina in the muscles to use them during lovemaking to achieve orgasm, which I'd never been able to do previously. It made me feel like a strong woman again.'.
'Before counselling, we went to bed and slept - now we cuddle'
Lorraine Rollason, 46, and her partner saw a relationship counsellor together. 'It's easy to see now what was going on with our relationship. We'd been together 16 years, had three young children, and both worked, so we simply didn't have time for each other. Our sex life just wasn't happening at all. My doctor referred me to a counsellor who suggested taking things step by step: just touching each other the first week, then massaging the second, and gradually becoming more tactile.
But the best advice she gave us was to set aside some time just for us and to build it into our routine. She also suggested we experiment with different positions and that I try an arousal cream. I used one called
Zestra
that seemed to do the trick: it's a lubricant that also arouses you. It used to take me about 45 minutes to get in the mood, by which time he no longer was!
My partner was fine about going to a counsellor - I think he realised it would help both of us. Before we had counselling, we just went to bed and slept - now we always have a cuddle and a chat. Sometimes that leads on to something, but the main thing is that we have time for each other. We had about 10 sessions and it certainly gave me more confidence as a woman. We've regained the warmth and affection, which is something that had got lost.
© Good Housekeeping May 2007
Good Housekeeping May 2007
"I found the
Pelvic Toner,
which you use internally to strengthen your muscles. I started to feel the benefits after about a week, and realised how connected those muscles are - not only to your bladder but also to sexual sensation."
"I used one called
Zestra
that seemed to do the trick: it's a lubricant that also arouses you."
See more from the
GH article. We Never Make Love Anymore.
Kegel8 - Results Within Weeks
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Kegel8
you will achieve noticeable results within weeks, we guarantee your partner will notice too!
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Zestra
is effective, discreet and easy-to-use. It helps to increase female sexual pleasure in normal women, those with arousal difficulties, and in women suffering sexual side effects from antidepressant medications. View the trailer to see why American Women call
Zestra
"Viagra for Women".
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